It’s the small things….

Firstly, if you have subscribed to this blog for information and reviews, this is going to be a different kind of post, some might say sentimental. You have been warned!

I have been poorly since February and therefore have had a lot of time to reflect on my life. Some of this reflection has not been entirely positive but every so often something crops up and reminds me how lucky I am.

It could be a news broadcast about the awful way in which women in places like Libya and Saudi Arabia are being repressed (and worse). It may be Comic Relief, showing me kids who have lost their parents and are HIV Positive themselves. It might even be just the thought of my mum, dad and brother and how lucky I am to have them. I also think about Kenneth Clarke’s comments this week and realise how lucky I am to have The Boy Wonder. Some men are so chauvinistic and idiotic that I realise TBW is one in a million. I don’t just mean that he isn’t dumb enough, like Clarke, to come out with stupid comments about rape – but also because TBW is a good man. He doesn’t mistreat me, or belittle me. Sadly, so many women’s’ partners do.

I look around and I see things through a different shade of glasses now. I realise that the most simple things can make a difference to my day, and the way I am feeling. As a type-A personality, control-freak I know I take too much on, that’s who I am. When I am fit enough to work, I race around like a headless chicken, trying to do overtime and squeeze in time with friends as well as family time and nice times with TBW, never mind reading and writing and wanting to do stuff for myself.  I feel constantly under pressure and out of time. No-one but me puts these pressures on myself and I’ve realised since I’ve been physically unable to push myself and squeeze just another little thing in, the world hasn’t stopped turning, my life hasn’t imploded. I need to start prioritising and thinking of myself. Never mind what I feel I should be doing, what do I want to do? I spend too much of my life trying to please others and make others feel happy, while being miserable myself a lot of the time.

Earlier this week, I had an email off someone I used to work with several years  ago. What it said totally blew me away. He said he remembered me as someone who was always smiling and game for a laugh. That was one of the nicest compliments I’ve received. Recently, I haven’t been that person but it was so lovely to be reminded of who I was and who I can still be. I know that being poorly will make me miserable but it was so touching to find out that, six years on, someone contacted me via Facebook just to tell me I’d been a little ray of sunshine.

I’ve never been someone who is popular. I was a geek at school and didn’t have many friends.

I left school at 18, after the hardest 2 years of my life, and took a full-time job in a bank. After contracting mumps, and having a fair bit of time to think, I decided to quit the bank job, take a drop in pay and go and work in a call centre while I studied. Those days in the call centre were the happiest of my life. I had a big group of friends, I partied frequently and I finally felt happy with who I was. That was around the time of my 21st birthday party where a room filled with people solely to celebrate my birthday and have a good time. That is still one of my happiest memories. I felt I’d gone from the unpopular kid in school to being very highly thought of. I’d met so many people along the way – from different jobs I’d had, courses I’d taken – and they liked me for me. Not because I smoked or because I was thin. They liked me because I was always smiling. That is the ultimate compliment.

So it might feel, right now, that fitting in is the most important thing in the world but take it from one who was never a ‘sheep’, somewhere in the world are people who will appreciate you for who you are – and if people don’t, it’s their problem, not your’s.

Vic x

They say a picture is worth a thousand words…..

But I think it is worth so much more.

Tonight, The Boy Wonder and I have been looking through photos from our childhoods. And what a pleasant evening it’s been. I’ve seen both myself and TBW as babies tonight, did I need anymore assistance in feeling broody?! No!

Last week, TBW’s granddad was showing me photos from several generations earlier which I thought it was mindblowing. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always loved looking at photographs. Perhaps it’s the innate desire inside me to know the stories behind the pictures. I now take pictures as inspiration, so if I see something unusual or unique I can capture it and hopefully a story will come from there.

Looking through those photo albums, arranged by his parents, made me think of all the things we forget with the passing of time. Lots of people don’t remember their childhoods very well. My earliest memory is from about age 2 which is quite unusual.

When I was younger, I used to have a photographic memory; you could literally take me somewhere new, in a part of the country I’d never been before, but if we made the same journey a year later I could tell you exactly how to get there again. That, sadly, has faded somewhat with age although not entirely.

After looking at the photos tonight, I think it’s important to make a note of where, when and with whom the photos are taken – these things are all too easily forgotten and what a real pity that is.

Photos are also a really useful tool if you live away from your family or want to jog someone’s memory.

Looking at those photos, from my christening (as a baby) up until my holiday to Oman earlier this year really perked me up. What wonderful times I’ve had.

I could wax lyrical for hours about how beautiful The Hot Springs in Nakhal, Oman are or I could just post a picture and I know you will understand immediately.

Vic x

Sitting on a windy day, staring out of the window.

I wait for inspiration to come but I spend hours playing Jewel Blitz and listening to Radio 4.

But, at six pm, the urge strikes and I manage to finish yet another 2,000 word piece I am hoping to submit to our local newspaper for consideration. This idea is in conjunction with New Writing North, our wonderful Arts Council-funded regional resource. I was devastated when I realised funding could be reduced or revoked entirely earlier this year but thankfully this has not happened and NWN continue to offer great opportunities to local writers.

I have so far submitted two stories for their consideration and have finished the third today. I will review it tomorrow before sending it off, just to ensure it is up to scratch. *crosses fingers*

And what’s in store for me the rest of this blustery day? Beans on toast for tea perhaps. An evening of reading hopefully. And television with The Boy Wonder. We enjoy The Great British Menu (BBC2, 6.30pm). I’d never watched a cookery programme in my life before I met TBW now I watch all sorts. Being a picky eater means I wouldn’t necessarily try a lot of Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall’s River Cottage recipes but I appreciate the dishes nonetheless. I want a vegetable patch!

I’ll watch Channel 4 news at 7pm (Channel 4). Later this evening, I am looking forward to Glee (E4, 9pm). I don’t like to watch TV unless there is something I want to watch on. I think there is far too much guff on there, too many repeats (I sound like my mum) and mainstream channels are way too dumbed-down. I find the majority of TV mindless and pointless. Rant over. If there’s nothing on, we have lots of box sets to keep me busy – 30 Rock, Dawson’s Creek, Frasier et al. TV is my downfall!

Well, I guess now I’ve finished my short stories, I need to get back to spending some quality time with Colin.

Vic x

What a wonderful world…

Today, The Boy Wonder and I decided to take ourselves off to our not-so-local-but-one-of-our-favourites pub in Lesbury, Northumberland. Listening to ‘Round The Horne’ we took the Coastal Route and so went through several lovely picturesque places like Warkworth and Hipsburn, passing by Alnmouth and stopping at the Coach Inn, Lesbury.

It’s my dream that one day this will be my local pub.

The Coach Inn is such a lovely place, it’s got big open fireplaces and great food. For real ale fans there isn’t a lot of choice but the food is so good, you won’t care. I myself am not a fan of ale but TBW is. We both had pork for our Sunday roast then I had strawberry brulee and TBW had sticky toffee pudding. The roast was absolutely divine. The meat was so tender and juicy and the crackling was perfect. I don’t like stuffing but TBW gave it his seal of approval. The desserts were slightly over-priced for what we got but were still nice.

The young staff are really friendly and there is a nice little side room for you to sit in and watch TV. I like to pretend it’s my sitting room as opposed to it being a pub! Whenever TBW and I go there, no-one is using that little room so it’s nice and private and the way it’s decorated is really homely. They have photos on the wall although we haven’t yet found out whether the photos are family photographs or perhaps ones that have been donated. There’s a bookshelf as well as the TV and today I found an interesting book about the ghosts of Northumberland by Rob Kirkup.

After our lovely lunch, we drove to Barter Books in Alnwick which is based in Alnwick’s Victorian railway station and is one of the largest second-hand bookstores in Britain. You really have to see it to believe it. There’s a minature train set that whizzes round above your head in one part of the shop. If you look up in the foyer, there’s a beautiful mural of lots of authors and characters, it’s really beautiful. There is also a cafe inside. You could spend a whole day here, the staff are helpful and there’s no need to hurry out. You can sit by the fire and read or sit at one of the large desks. There are stools and seats left around the place and dogs are welcome too. There are tea, coffee and biscuits in the front room with an honesty box, such a quaint concept but a heartwarming one nonetheless.

Barter Books have books on literally any subject, TBW even pointed out an old book from the 70s today about nude photography – whatever genre you are looking for, you will find it here. Barter Books works on a system where you bring your old books to sell, you’re offered a valuation and this balance can be carried over if you don’t want to spend it there and then. They do also accept cash if you don’t want to swap old books. I had a good balance saved up so I went slightly mad on buying books today (this will become a regular theme, no doubt). I now have even more books to plough through but this makes me happy.

Just one word of advice: go with an open mind. You will find books that you had forgotten existed however if you have certain things in mind, you may be disappointed. Obviously Barter Books depends on what people are exchanging so, although they do have some very new titles in stock, they only stock 2nd hand books. If you go just for a browse though, I can guarantee you will find something to tickle your fancy. They do also have a smaller range of DVDs and LPs. They have amazingly old books and first editions as well as rare copies which are housed in glass cabinets.

Having just read the ghost book which featured Alnwick, I was slightly jumpy at any sound which TBW took full advantage of, jumping out from behind the huge bookcases.

On the way home, we took a wee detour to take a couple of pictures in Alnmouth, according to the book I read, The Schooner Hotel is haunted. When we looked closer at the sign, we saw it has been give official haunted status! Who comes up with these things?!

Now TBW is playing XBox so I am going to get comfortable and try to read some more. I’m currently trying to read Michael’s Marshall’s ‘Killer Move’ but am having a bit of difficulty getting into it.

How are you today?

Vic x