I have not yet had the privilege of becoming a mother but I can imagine it’s the most frustrating but rewarding job in the world. I can imagine there are massive highs and crashing lows – their first steps coupled with their first scrapes and so on.
There are some people who would make wonderful mothers but go through years of tests and fertility treatment just to make this dream come true. There are a lot of women who suffer miscarriages, cot death and stillbirths as well as other unthinkable losses. I don’t think everyone should see motherhood as an entitlement – there are some people who can’t look after themselves and therefore cannot be trusted to raise children – for example, addicts of drugs and alcohol.
I also think that some women have children for the wrong reasons: as an accessory, to keep up with their friends or relatives, to secure a house or benefits or to trap a man into a relationship.
Her recent comments must be like a knife to the heart of all couples desperate to have just one baby. In an interview with In Touch Magazine, Suleman stated “I hate the babies, they disgust me.” She says she feels her brood of fourteen are getting more and more out of control because “I have no time to discipline them”. Suleman says she feels suicidal and has considered killing herself. She says she locks herself in the bathroom and cries, sometimes sitting there for hours. She even admits to eating her lunch on the toilet floor for some “peace and quiet”. With no income and debts piling up, Suleman says that she loves her children but wishes she’d never had them.
So why did she?
I can understand the biological imperative to reproduce. However, as an unemployed woman with six young children, existing off welfare programmes, how did Suleman manage to pay for the subsequent IVF that resulted in a further eight babies? Why did she think that was a good idea? Any mother of young children will admit to being harassed and tired constantly – but with fourteen kids under the age of twelve, no wonder she doesn’t know what to do with herself.
In 1997, aged 21, Suleman started IVF and in 2001, she gave birth to her first son Elijah. In 2oo2, Suleman gave birth to her first daughter Amerah and suffered from stress, mood swings and depression but she continued with further IVF treatments which left her with six children in total. Suleman was married to Marco Guttierez between 1996 and 2008 but they separated in 2000, after Guttierez refused to be involved in the IVF process. He claims he is not the father to any of Suleman’s kids.
In 2008, Suleman claimed she had six embryos left over from her previous IVF treatments and therefore wanted all eight implanting so as to avoid any embryos being destroyed. This practice in itself is unusual – usually only 2 or 3 embryos at the most are implanted. Allegedly, two of the embryos split in to, producing twins. Dr Michael Kamrava, who carried out the treatment, refuted Suleman’s claims, stating that Suleman insisted on ‘fresh cycles’, and still had embryos stored with Dr Kamrava. During a 2011 investigation, it was found that Suleman had actually been implanted with twelve embryos with five fetuses being evident after just one month but Suleman refused selective reduction.
Kamrava had his medical license revoked, effective 1st July 2011. And rightly so. Suleman may, for whatever insane reason, not be intelligent enough to realise the implication of her actions but as a doctor, Kamrava should have known better. He must have known Suleman was single, in financial difficulty and with six young children to support.
Suleman claimed to the media after the birth of the octuplets in 2009 that she could independently support her children although she now admits she is struggling. She said she planned to go back to college to study for a Masters in counselling but she hasn’t. Records show that Suleman has been receiving disability support between 2002 and 2008 for a back injury sustained during a riot. She sure sounds like a stable character, the type you’d be wanting to raise fourteen children, no?
According to reports, Nadya’s parents who are divorced now have to live with her and the children to provide childcare. Suleman claims she has no money to pay for schooling – she privately educates her children because she says they’d be targets for criminals in a state school – food or the mortgage. It is also being reported that Suleman risks foreclosure on her house.
It is a sad state of affairs, particularly for those kids. The adults are the ones to blame – someone should have stopped this ridiculous woman. I hate the way Suleman portrays herself as a victim, she chose these treatments and chose not to undertake selective reduction.
Some say Suleman is only doing stories about her distaste for her brood simply to get money to support them but what kind of mother does that? New photos this weekend show her doing a photo shoot at the beach with her babies so perhaps it is all a desperate bid for money. She is now also signed up to a “celebrity” dating show where three people try to “win her heart”. What heart? This woman has shown, and is still showing, herself to be a selfish, irresponsible imbecile with no consideration for anyone but herself.
It must be heartbreaking for women (and men) who would make great parents and are desperately trying to have a baby to read about this abhorrent woman.