In the past, I’ve blogged about the sense of achievement I felt when qualifying as a teacher in July last year. I was to finally be a qualified teacher but I was not happy when I saw my graduation photos. The woman in the photos looked about six months pregnant, sweaty and uncomfortable. The dress she was wearing was tight in all the wrong places. That woman was me, aged 30.
I was utterly disgusted. I had managed to avoid cameras for so long that I’d been able to live in blissful ignorance, unaware to some extent of how bad my weight problem really was. OK, so at medical appointments, doctors expressed their concern at my BMI but seeing the photo below really brought home to me how far I was from the idea I had of myself. Basically, I think I had body dysmorphia in reverse.
Another thing I’d avoided was clothes shops. I had taken to ordering things online if I was really desperate but, with a new job on the horizon, I had to go shopping for new work clothes. In August last year, I was in a size 20 in Primark clothes – and they were snug.
I think my mum had also got an unpleasant surprise when looking at the graduation photos and so, because we had a family holiday planned for November, we agreed to give Slimming World a go. We initially went with the intention of joining and going for a few weeks to learn the plan then going it alone.
On attending my first session, I sat at the back of the meeting and cried. I cried because I was intimidated by my consultant – not because of anything he did but because I was so introverted that I couldn’t believe anyone would be so confident and outgoing. I cried because of how fat I’d let myself get. I cried because I thought Slimming World was going to be another fad that wouldn’t work. And I cried because I felt sorry for myself, after all, I’d been really poorly and pumped full of various drugs which hadn’t helped my weight.
When I joined Slimming World on Tuesday, 9th September, 2014, I weighed 16 stone 2lbs. My BMI was 32 and I was clinically obese.
Yesterday, I stood at the front of my Slimming World group as a nominee for their Woman of the Year. I also obtained my 2 and a half stone award yesterday, bringing my BMI to 27 and me only 9lbs away from my target weight. I wore size 14 pants from Primark to yesterday’s meeting.
When giving a short speech to the group last night, I admitted that I never realised how out of control my eating was. I could blame my medical condition and the drugs used to combat it but I know that my weight gain was mainly down to my lack of self-control. And that’s why I will continue to go to Slimming World even when I do hit my target. I am able to admit now that I could not maintain a healthy weight without the support of the group members and my wonderful consultant, Adam.
When Adam called me a fortnight ago to tell me I’d been nominated as Woman of the Year, I laughed down the phone. Who thought I was anywhere near worthy of Woman of the Year? I suspected it was my mother and maybe one of the friend’s I’ve made over the course of the last 49 weeks.
When I first started SW, I sat on the back row with my mum and avoided eye contact with everyone. I was anti-social and negative. I refused to tell anyone other than The Boy Wonder that I was a member. I was ashamed. Now, I will happily tell anyone that I’m a member of Slimming World and how it has changed my life. In my weekly group meetings, I’m one of the most vocal people there – can you believe that?! I can’t. Nor can I believe that I cooked Slimming World yorkshire puddings to take to share at the group – I do more cooking than I ever considered I was capable of.
I’m not going to lie and say that I have found Slimming World easy all of the time. I would struggle to keep up with the plan without the help of my mum – she cooks several meals a week for me and that is a huge help. I have had several unexplained large gains – on two separate weeks I gained 8lbs in one week and still have no idea why – but I have never truly believed that I would quit. What would I achieve from quitting? I’d end up back where I started – or worse. The feeling of gaining a lot of weight without a reason is truly devastating if you’ve been trying hard to stick to the diet but if I did quit, I’d certainly be no better off.
Adam treated his nominees like stars last night and I felt so special. Although I didn’t win, last night was one of the proudest nights of my life. I may have let myself get to a very bad point but I am well on the way to putting it right with the help of some amazingly supportive people.
If you need a way to lose weight, I cannot recommend Slimming World enough.