My parents have always said they named me right: Picky Vicky (even though I don’t like being called Vicky). Ever since being placed onto solid food at the tender age of eighteen months, I have been what I might call discerning or what my parents call “a bloody nightmare”.
Throughout my childhood, I used to come home for lunch because there was no way I would eat school dinners. Unlike many “picky eaters” I hated the usual suspects of burgers, pizzas et al. I existed on a diet of M&S lean Danish ham, beef spread, Heinz beans, Heinz spaghetti, in fact most Heinz pasta-esque dishes, Heinz tomato soup, Heinz chicken soup and Heinz oxtail soup. I loved ox tongue sandwiches which was, admittedly, a bit of an anomaly but hey, I’m a complex kinda gal. I liked very well done steak (i.e. cremated) and loved roast dinners with plenty of vegetables on. I also used to love sneaking my hand into the pans (before they were put on to cook, obviously) and eating the raw veg inside. Now, I know people eat carrot batons but I am talking any raw veg – sprouts, turnip, cauliflower, broccoli and even potatoes. Sure, I loved crisps and pop as well as chocolate but all in all my limited diet was relatively healthy.
Going abroad on holiday was hellish. I once, aged nine, stopped drinking milk after being in Spain for two weeks because the milk I’d drank in Spain had been long life milk and I hated it. It was a year later that I started drinking milk again. My pickiness produced many funny anecdotes over the years but also caused many rows. On our first family holiday abroad, I barely ate anything so, in desperation, my parents took me to Burger King only for me to refuse the burger because I didn’t like how it tasted. My dad went mad. On another holiday, my parents and brother had an italian meal and then had to accompany me to a nearby carvery for me to eat.
I missed out on a lot – when I was 20, I went to New York but existed on a diet of cookies, coffee and jello.
Over my formative years, I developed some quite strict ‘rules’ about eating. For example, I only eat certain flavours of crisps with certain sandwich fillings. I eat beef flavoured crisps with cheese toasties, tuna sandwiches and ham sandwiches. I would only eat cheese and onion or salt and vinegar crisps with ham sandwiches. With beef sandwiches I eat plain crisps. Got that?
Not only that but I have rules about meals and what can be eaten in the same mouthful. For example, I’d never eat veg with meat and so on. I don’t like mashed potato because it runs into the gravy and contaminates the rest of the food. I also have a particular order that each item on the plate must be eaten in. This may sound very complex but I have been eating like this since I was a kid and it is pretty much subconscious now.
I was 19 years old before I tried pizza, and I still don’t really like them. I was 21 years and two weeks old before I had my first Chinese which I love now. I had a very limited diet.
However, when I met The Boy Wonder, things changed. A lot of the things I said I didn’t like, I’d never even tried. TBW was disgusted by this idea so he decided to try and educate me. Here are some of the things I now enjoy since meeting TBW:
- Tropicana Smooth Orange juice
- Horseradish sauce
- Feta cheese
- Rare steak
- Dijon mustard
- Balsamic vinegar
- Kettle chips
- Tortilla chips
- Haloumi cheese
- Greek Salad
- Shish Taouk
- Sour cream
- Cream cheese
- Battered cod
There are probably more that I’ve now forgotten. I’ve tried other things and not liked them but the point is, I tried them – crepe suzette, lasagne, yes, caviar, you are as disgusting as I imagined.
So that would explain why I’ve put on ridiculous amounts of weight. But hey, at least I’m enjoying life!